poopflow: ah yes i have finally found it the g spot
themisadventuresofmaddy: do you ever feel like you’re just sort of there like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care...
Me First Having a Tumblr: I will never reblog a photo more than once.
Now: Reblogging the 83rd time because of perfection
whimsicalspecks: akitron: buttlarious: tumblr is boring today better go check tumblr #I literally get bored and close tumblr only to reopen tumblr
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do whatever you want.
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
earthnation: earthnation: lol this dumbass moth is flying into my laptop screen lol u dumb moth IT FLEW UNDER MY FINGER WHILE I WAS TYPING IT JUST COMMITED SUICIDE IT PROBABLY READ THIS POST AND GOT SAD IM SO SORRY MOTH IM SORRY U DIED BY MY HAND R.I.P U WERE ONE CHILL MOTH
dad-butts: krill-ex: god was obviously high as fuck when he made sea creatures They were probably his first creations and he was so ashamed that he tried hiding them. It’s like his old dA account
jjlj13: laugh-until-you-drop: thesame5people: foreveralone-lyguy: I swear like 85% of all popular text posts are made by the same 5 people. Actually I’ve never had a popular text post but it’s good to know you enjoy my blog
accio-bradfordbadboi: We had to shave our cat because she had mats in her fur. But then she was cold. So we bought her a sweater. It also came with a little hat. My cat hates me.
multipack: sorry but i think we should break up, it’s not you it’s-a-me mario
harrysexy-curls: tempt-me: next concert i go to and im in the front im putting super glue on my hands so when the singer touches my hand they’ll be stuck to me and then they have no choice but to be my friend.
fushigikid: captainunhook: what if scott pilgrim has to battle taylor swift’s exes
usbdongle: xeverdeen: im from the united states of AMERICA what do you MEAN THIS VIDEO IS NOT AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY #there’s another country? #how long has it been there
I’m so insecure like I could be married to my husband of 40 years and I would still wonder if he likes me or not
i get really uncomfortable when people don’t maximize their browser window
bangcaster: you can still be thick and have a thigh gap
geniusbillionairesassmaster: sillyunicorntime: dieceased: daiyaoowada: I told my government class about the Great Emu War and half the class didn’t believe me so we had my government teacher look it up on the projector oh my god only in australia wait how did the emus win you don’t fuck with emus, mate